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Body Language Munchkin Lesson 2: More about hands.

Welcome to Body Language Munchkin #2 where will will continue with hands.

As we established in Body Language Munchkin #1, your hands are your trust indicators.  Keeping your hands visible is a great way to help build instant trust and rapport, but your hands communicate so many other things that I could probably write an entire book about the subject.  But neither of us have time for that so lets hit a couple of the really important things you should do and a few things you should avoid doing with your hands.

  1. You should shake hands – When you touch another person it creates a chemical called oxytocin in both of you.  This oxytocin makes each of you feel more connected to each other.
  2. You should steeple your hands – When you are speaking to a person or presenting something and you want to show that you are confident, have authority or are an expert about what you are talking about steeple your hands.  There are different types of steeples, but all of them are for the most part positive.

Those are just a few of the many actions you should take with your hands to send a positive Body Language message.  Next we will focus on some of the things to avoid if possible.

  1. You should avoid pointing with your index finger – Pointing is a very aggressive body language move, and might be appropriate in some instances when perhaps you are scolding someone, but 99% of the time there are better ways to make a point. 🙂
  2. You should avoid self-soothing – Self soothing is when you touch or rub different parts of your body in an attempt to sooth your pain, nervousness, or other things that make you uncomfortable.  At times it may be appropriate, but it is considered low confidence body language and should generally be avoided if trying to send the message that you are a confident person.
  3. You should avoid clenching your fists – People usually do this subconsciously when they are angry.  Like all body language, sometimes it is appropriate.  If you are extremely angry and want to show it by shaking your fist at someone go for it, but if you are trying to show the world that you are someone who is calm and in control even in tense or angry situations, keep your trusting hands relaxed.

There is so much more about hands that could be covered, but I think I have hit some of the most important in this Munchkin.  As always if you have any questions or comments, please let me know by email or phone.  I love to hear from people and talk about body language.


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